14/9 - The Private Prosecutor

“Accept nothing. Believe no one. Check everything."

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Britain’s shoplifters fear David McKelvey. His companies, TM Eye and My Local Bobby, have brought over 1,200 private prosecutions - and never lost a case. 

Commandeering a commercial force of savvy ex-coppers, David pursues thieves the Police usually let go with a caution - guys who steal steaks from Waitrose and flog them to restaurants, and housewives hawking fake handbags on Facebook. 

In this wide-ranging and illuminating conversation with Olly, David explains how private individuals can make arrests and bring court cases; answers the criticisms of the system thrown up by the Post Office scandal; and explains why buying counterfeit designer labels from car boot sales is not simply a crime of copyright theft - but the tip of a large-scale operation that can involve child labour, toxic materials, and terrorist gangs…

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David McKelvey and Olly Mann, August 2023.

Meanwhile, in the Zeitgeist, Ollie Peart enlists the help of former Top Gear presenter Rory Reid to investigate just how environmentally-friendly electric vehicles truly are. 

Does the intensive production process, and consequences of battery manufacture, have an adverse effect on an EV’s eco-credentials?

Is the higher upfront cost of going electric justified by the lower running cost compared to petrol? And to what extent does it matter what country you’re in, and what their energy mix is? Ollie finds out…

The Zeitgeist is supported by DIRTEA, super blends derived from potent functional mushrooms. Get 10% off your first order with promo code MANN at dirteaworld.com/mann

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Elsewhere, in the Foxhole, Alix Fox takes to the skies in a ‘very forgiving’ Microlight, returning just in time to discuss a letter from an anonymous Mannfan experiencing insecurity about his small penis, and intense jealousy about his partner's past sexual experiences.

What societal pressures or personal triggers lay behind this sudden self-doubt? How best to communicate his feelings with his apparently blameless wife? And just how important is penis size when it comes to sexual satisfaction in a straight relationship?

With the help of psychosexual and relationship therapist Silva Neves, and Lynsey Murray, of Relationship Matters, Texas, Alix has the answers…

If you have a sex or relationship question you’d like Alix to answer, fill in the Feedback form. You can remain anonymous if you wish.

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Finally, our record of the month sees the triumphant return of Modern Mann favourite Griff, with her ‘heartbreak’ choon, Vertigo, out now.’ 👇

Love the show? Help us make it! 💰

If you enjoy listening, please please SUPPORT US! We need your help to continue producing our independent monthly podcast, so buy us a beer via our secure payment page - you can contribute as little and often as you like. Cheers!

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This episode is supported by BetterHelp.

Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month of convenient and affordable therapy when you visit https://betterhelp.com/mann

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12/8 - The Knock On The Door

“Everybody I knew was on it. I thought, well, they obviously don't care that much, because every teacher is doing it.”

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Teaching English in Beijing seemed like a great opportunity for Welsh graduate Glen Williams, who had previously spent time studying in China. He could brush up on his Mandarin, work with kids… and earn up to £3k per month, tax free.

The hitch? The agency that placed him told him that every three months, he’d need to spend the weekend in Seoul - a ‘visa trip’ that, he soon discovered, was commonplace amongst ex-pat EFL teachers. 

Then, one day, they changed their tune. “If the Police ask you”, they said, “tell them you sell whiteboards”.

In this interview with Olly, Glen reveals what happened next… 

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Meanwhile, in the Zeitgeist, Ollie Peart, fresh from mastering ‘the Crow Pose’ on Instagram, attempts to dominate the internet through the medium of keyword spamming. 

Can his well-established musical talent - now masquerading as alter-ego Captain Spronk - stretch to luring in listeners with clickbait titles like ‘Music For Focus’, ‘Music For Meditation’, and, um, ‘Olly Mann’?

Judge for yourself, if you dare 👇  

If YOU would like to challenge Ollie to test out a trend on a future edition of the show, submit it via our feedback form.

Glen and some of the kids he taught in Beijing

The letter banning Glen from China for 5 years

The Zeitgeist is sponsored by Manscaped, the only men’s brand dedicated to below the waist grooming. Get 20% Off + Free Shipping, with the code ‘Mann’ at Manscaped.com

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Elsewhere, in the Foxhole, Alix Fox (having learnt the ropes of ‘Satanic Feminism’) helps out an anonymous listener with post-coital dysphoria (PCD) - a condition that can cause feelings of sadness, agitation, and crying after intercourse.

Why have we evolved to feel disgust at the things that previously made us horny? How much is chemical, and how much is shame? And what post-sex rituals can you employ to reset your emotions? Alix, as ever, has the answers...

If YOU would like to ask Alix a question of sex - you can remain anonymous if you wish - submit it via our feedback form.

The Foxhole is sponsored by Handy - a WiFi-enabled sex toy for men, designed and developed in Norway. For free express shipping, use our code ‘Foxhole' at TheHandy.com.

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Finally, our record of the month is ‘Kamali’, the new single by Priya Ragu; part of her mixtape dropping on September 3rd:

This episode of The Modern Mann is sponsored by “the healthcare workers of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, who want to thank the other workers worldwide that have done such great work - in the spirit of moving on collectively to a better place". Thanks guys!

If you can afford to, please buy us a beer once per month - or as often as you like - using our secure, customisable form here. Thanks!

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We’ll see you again on September 10th.

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5/1 - Serving the Super-Rich

“Everybody’s got a sixth sense. I’ve got a seventh sense.”

There are more billionaires than ever. Rockstars. Oil tycoons. Internet entrepreneurs.

And all of them - all of them - employ private staff. The age of Jeeves and Wooster may be over, but the demand for a dependable butler remains.

Lawrence McKenna has been serving the super-rich for three decades, including stints in private suites in London's poshest hotels and the Royal Enclosure at Ascot. In this interview with Olly, he reveals how to remain invisible yet available; poised to deliver whatever a ‘principal’ desires, from obscure coffee beans to a mid-coital cuppa. He explains how to carry a plate, when to say ‘yes’ and when to simply say ‘it can be done’, and how to prepare *just chilled* mineral water to the taste of a Saudi trillionaire...

LISTEN NOW:

• MP3

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• Spotify (mobile only)

Thanks to Randolph’s butlers agency for introducing us to Lawrence, and the Mann-fans at SNK Studios for providing us a space to record our interview.

Meanwhile, in this week’s Lifehack, meet Rudy Budhdeo: a man who knows how to wear jeans. As CEO of world-leading store Son Of A Stag, he tells us his top three life-hacks for buying, washing and manipulating raw denim. The Lifehack is sponsored by our friends at Squarespace.com. You can design yourself a truly beautiful website - like this one! - using their simple and delightful tools. Take out a free trial for a fornight, and then, if you want to sign up, get 10% OFF for a year by using our code, ‘Mann’.

Elsewhere, in this week’s Zeitgeist, Ollie Peart, who definitely doesn’t want to talk about Fidget Spinners, instead examines the world of ‘Snapbot queue-jumpers’ and puzzling YouTube phenomenon Poppy.

He is also set a new challenge: to become a true trends insider by the end of the series.

To do this, he must:

• Become Twitter verified

• Hold a Nando’s black card

• Become a Freemason

• Try the latest cult skin care treatment or product

• Sit at a chef’s table

• Successfully enrol on an elite dating app

• Acquire triple AAA access to a festival

• Get tickets to the London transfer of Hamilton

• Take a parliamentary ‘ghost train’

... If you think you can help him with any of these missions, do get in touch.

Down the Foxhole, Alix Fox - fresh from having her senses awakened at Open Senses - reveals the surprising history of vasectomies, and explains why there’s a trend for millennial men to get the snip at a younger age than you might expect. She also assists a listener concerned that his forthcoming vasectomy might affect his sexual sensation. If you have a question of sex for Alix, just reach out via our Feedback form - you can remain anonymous if you so choose.

This fifth series of sex questions comes to your ears thanks to our friends at mycondom.com. They truly are a marvel: in fact, if you’re going to sleep with anyone, we strongly advise you visit them first. And remember to use the code ‘FOXHOLE’ when you do, to get 15% off.

Finally, our Song of the Week is ‘My Lover Cindy’ by Marika Hackman. Her new album is out now on Sub Pop Records:

... It’s great to be back. See You Next Tuesday!